This Sunday is Father’s Day in the UK, a day which up until Clem came along has never been on my radar. I have never sent a father’s day card or bought a present, not because I’m mean but because I’ve never actually met my father. I have absolutely no idea where he lives, or if I have any siblings. My parents broke up and got divorced when I was very young, according to my mum he was gone by the time I was 6 weeks old. I’ve seen pictures of my parents on their wedding day and that’s about it. So I do know what he looked like way back in the 80’s but if he was to walk past in the street today I probably wouldn’t even know it was him.
As far as I am aware I have never had any contact with him at all when I was younger. Although we did stay in contact with his parents and my aunt up until I was about 20. Then due to moving and things, we lost contact until when my grandfather passed away. My mum offered to send flowers but was told not to bother. I also wasn’t included in the list of grandchildren in the notices. I know there are two sides to every story but it was pretty obvious that my father never wanted me and that’s ok.
If I am totally honest it’s not something that has ever bothered me because he’s never been there. I’m sure it would have been a completely different story had he left when I was older and he had actually been around. I grew up with my mum and her parents, we were all very close. We all lived together until I was 16, when eventually my mum found a new partner and we moved in with him. I moved out when I was 19/20 and lived with Jesse and some friends.
“Father of mine
Tell me where have you been”
Father of Mine – Everclear
This post is obviously extremely personal and something which I have never talked about on the blog before. There were awkward moments when I was younger where other kids at school would ask what does your dad do, or where is your dad but I just said he wasn’t around. No-one really said anymore then. My mum has been fantastic, I definitely went through a difficult period as most teenagers do and caused her a lot of worry but that’s only natural. I wasn’t as bad as some people I knew!
There are obviously moments where having a dad would have been great but mums can do everything a dad can. Someone once asked what would happen if I ever got married, who would give me away. Honestly it’s not something I’ve ever thought about because I don’t plan on getting married, and if we did ever get married it probably wouldn’t be a big fancy one, so it wouldn’t matter. I’m not exactly someone who likes tradition. My wedding if it ever happened is more likely to be in Vegas than a church!
Jesse is an amazing dad to Clem. She absolutely adores him, I love listening to her laugh and play with him during her bath time. He gives her a bath every night after dinner, as he is at work all day so doesn’t spend much time with her during the week. The weekends are different, we do things as a family even if it’s just a walk in the park. She loves chasing him around the playground.
Clems first word was Dada, I am still yet to get a mama, apparently she has said it just not when I’m around. I also get called Dada, although I have noticed she says them slightly differently so I can tell when she wants me. This will be Jesses second Fathers Day and although he says it’s not important I want to make it special for him. I guess I’m making up for lost time, now I finally get to buy the cards and presents although it’s obviously from Clem and not me!